So it’s been about a month since I left Senegal and I thought I should wrap up the rest of my trip. After I left the village I returned to the office for a world wind of events. I led a discussion group on sexuality with a group of young Senegalese students and it was probably the most frustrating 2 hours I spent in Senegal. I was one of two females in the room out of a group of about ten or so people so clearly I had my work cut out for me. My aim wasn’t to turn them all into feminists but I did want them to at least listen to what I had to say. They were all extremely traditional. They believed women were worthless if they have sex before marriage. Even though it was agreed (on their part) that it was ok for men to experiment and try things out. They also believed that rape was usually a women’s fault because they “do things” to men and it was the woman’s fault because men can’t control themselves and women “have powers.” It was the first time I fully understood how sexism gets so deeply engrained into every aspect of their lives. They even told me that they seriously believed that a woman was a witch if she lived by herself but had a nice house and car-they genuinely could not comprehend that women can survive without men.
After that experience I must admit that I was a little jaded. The next thing I did which did not help my sentiments at the time was visit a little island off the coast called Goree. Goree was where slaves from Senegal left the country and the African continent. It was extremely surreal to be there. The island itself is extremely beautiful; it’s also probably the best example of French colonialism in Senegal. All the old buildings exhibited the sense of exoticism that colonizers must have experienced. There were tons of bright colors and the Catholic tradition was still evident in the tiny old church at the center of the island. Goree also houses the Maison D’Esclaves (House of Slaves). This is where people were kept before being shipped off to the Americas to be sold into slavery. I saw the old rooms where men, women and children were kept. I also saw the tiny holes that they put people in when they “misbehaved.” There was also a doorway of no return-self explanatory. Standing in that doorway made me feel so sick. As I looked out and got beautiful views of the ocean I couldn’t help but wonder how others felt who had to go through that same doorway but against their will, and away from all they’d ever known. I thought about the millions who didn’t even survive the voyage, as well as those who never made it off Goree either. It was extremely eerie. On the upper floors of the house there were remnants of the chains used on these people as well as old jewelry and other belongings. I still feel sick now just thinking about it. Goree is such a place of contradictions. This utterly beautiful place housed so much ugliness but if you have to visit one place in Senegal I’d still say to go there.
So….Senegal. Yes, I did love it. I had so much fun. I met and worked with some absolutely amazing people. I also experienced the best night life in West Africa. The clubs in downtown Dakar are unlike any other and very much reminded me of being back in NYC. I was surrounded by so much beauty. I’ve been asked if I would ever go back again and I answer without hesitation…Hell yes!!! But I must admit that I couldn’t stay for too long. Senegal is a great place to be if you are a black male, correction, straight black male. As much as I loved the place I didn’t like feeling ashamed of my sexuality (I love being a woman!!!). The funny thing is that this never happens to me in the states-but because I allowed myself to become a Senegalese woman I had to take the good and the bad. I don’t regret allowing myself to take on their culture because it allowed me to do the work that I wanted to do to the best of my ability. I completely believe that in doing service you must give of yourself, but I don’t think it should be something that defines who you are. It’s ironic that I’d be more likely to compromise myself physically rather than emotionally-but that’s my own issue and I’m happy that I learned that.
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